the reason everyone showed up to your "private" party


It's known as the coconut wireless.
It spreads like a web through the land.
Its service is speedy and tireless.
No stranger can quite understand.

How the story that never gets printed
Is known as though headlined in type,
And scandal that somebody hinted
is served as a fact, juicy, ripe.

The Coconut Wireless carries
THe rumor with marvelous haste.
Each messenger alters and varies
The story to suit his own taste.

A maid tells the tale to the matron
Who tells it in turn to the clerk.
The clerk spills it all to a patron
Who leaves with a satisfied smirk.

To tell it with gusto and malice
At the club, on the street, in the bar,
Until Gertrude and Henry and Alice
Have heard it and spread it afar.

Each one adds a flavor that's newer.
It grows richer and broader with time.
And one with a mind like a sewer
Besmears it with scandolous slime.

And the next one who hears it repeats it
Throws in a few bites of his own
'Til he won't know the yarn when he meets it
So amazingly fast has it grown.

With the speed of a bird it hurries
From Oahu to Hilo and back
To Kona to Maui it scurries
As the tongues of the gossipers clack.

The terrible Coconut Wireless!
We loathe it (and use it each day)
It's service is speedy and tireless
"Have you heard any gossip to day?"

http://hawaiicoconutwireless.tribe.net